"Why Kendra (17) Aspired To Be A Porn Star?”

Mom had no idea that her once awkward younger daughter was just about to realize an eight-year long dream of being a porn star. Kendra had felt so unloved and neglected as her mother lived vicariously through Kendra's older sister that she always tried to no avail to emulate her older sister.

By the time Kendra was only 8, her older sister (16) was freely bragging to other girlfriends about her sexual exploits with boys in highschool and even a boy who was in college. At their slumber parties the girls talked about everything they had done with their boyfriends and everything they were challenging each other to do.

Kendra was mesmerized as she eavesdropped on her sister's conversations. Needing her sister's approval she had no intention of telling on her sister. What would be the fun of that. But when her sister caught her one night she humiliated Kendra in front of the other girls.

Though her sister had never shown her any kindness, Kendra felt especially hurt that her sister did not appreciate her little sister's adoration, nor her curiosity about the many sexual stories her sister and friends boasted about to each other, nor her little sister's loyalty. Kendra was proud of her big sister, because she had more stories about doing stuff with boys than just about any of the other girls.

One night soon after Kendra's horrible humiliation, her sister hurt her feelings with more teasing about how fat and ugly Kendra was. Mom heard Kendra whining and couldn't take it. She called the mom of one of Kendra's school mates, and asked if there was any way that Kendra could spend the weekend.

That night Kendra expressed how hurt she was to her classmate, and only after getting her to promise to keep it secret, Kendra told her what she had heard eavesdropping.

Her friend quickly voulunteered that her father has sex videos that they could watch which would teach Kendra and her everything the big girls apparently knew about sex from what they had experienced.

Soon Kendra and her friend were watching the videos. Pride and the desire to grow up casued them to ignore their conscience and the shock they would have most likely first felt upon seeing some of the pornographic episodes. But once they pressed past those natural boundaries in their souls, they were soon challenging each other to pretend to be acting out the adult roles of the porn actresses.

This went on for nearly eight years. Kendra never felt even slightly pretty until just before she was about 16. Then at 16 she was approached by a somewhat older man who teased her for her immaturity. Her response was a prouod one. Kendras' years of watching porn videos and then trying to best her friend in acting out all of the moves that she saw in those films, had left her very proud of her secret knowledge and increasingly interested in displaying what she knew to someone who could appreciate that she was no longer just a silly little child.

(to be written soon: How God got Kendra and I to talk, How her plan came about, some of the shame of the eight years with her accomplice, more of the first eight years of Kendra's life, being unwanted by her mom for being chubby like dad's family, and even unwanted at birth, because Mom was just achieving some success with promoting Kendra's older sister, and even thought of reviving some part of her dream of dancing, how Dad & Mom met and how ambitious fanstasies gave way to harsh and bitter reality for both of them.)