Positive Patti & Miserable Marcia - A Modern Day Parable

There were two women who came to me from the same church, having come to Christ at the same time, and at about the same age. At the time I met them that is where the similarity started and stopped. Patti and Marcia represent the kind of opposite extremes I often get to see in my clients in any given day.

PATTI

PATTI was the firstborn child of two very attractive, energetic, intelligent, and successful parents. They loved each other deeply, and they both rejoiced greatly over the news that Patti's mom was pregnant with her. Patti was not only her first child, but she was also very fortunate in that she was the first and only grandchild for seven years. Her Dad was a successful doctor, as his father had been. Her Mom's father was a very gifted college professor and his wife was a very creative and content housewife. Patti's mom had a college degree in early childhood education, but she had always hoped to have a family rather than her own career. Her husband's high income afforded her the ability to stay home with her daughter, where she delighted over every new expression, gesture, discovery and accomplishment as Patti grew. By the time Patti went to school she was pretty, well-dressed, well-mannered, confident, intelligent, and very outgoing. Because of all the love and attention she had received, she was convinced that she was a joy to everyone in her extended family. As a result, Patti was also very popular both with teachers and other students throughout her school years. She excelled in both academics and sports, and was always recognized as a valuable asset in any club or group.

At eight years old on one Christmas Patti was delighted when her mom and dad gave her a little baby sister. Patti was a very enthusiastic care-giver, and rapidly became a very capable "mother's helper." Patti's greatest affirmation would come when her little sister would cry out for Patti to hold her or to feed her instead of mom. Her little sister tried to imitate all that Patti did or said from very early infancy, and that delighted Patti until her little sister was about seven. That was because Patti was about 15, and very caught up in the activities of her junior and senior year of high school. Patti was suddenly very unavailable to her little sister who felt very rejected and lost. For that Patti felt very guilty but it seemed unavoidable. Life doe not stop for a seven year old.

Soon college took her further away. Again soon established herself as an excellent student, and an officer in her sorority and other clubs. After graduation with highest honors, Patti also enjoyed much success in her first six years in the workplace.

At 28 years of age, while surprisingly still single, two new colleagues invited Patti to church from her office. Much to their surprise Patti accepted their invitation, and then further delighted them by "asking Jesus into her heart" at the very first Sunday school class that she attended with them. Her forthright and sincere questions in class, followed by a bold decision for Christ right there on the spot, delighted the other class members as well.

The pastor was even told of her conversion just before he preached that morning. When he finished his sermon, he enthusiastically introduced Patti to the congregation as a "very promising addition to the Kingdom of God." That afternoon he and his wife took Patti out to lunch and shared with her in detail the vision they had for their church. They immediately invited Patti to get more involved in the church's activities and programs.

Less than a year later, Patti was teaching the Sunday school class for divorced women in her age group, and trying to help them gain a greater sense of self-esteem. At first, she was admired by all of the women and her class grew, but soon her students became frustrated with her inability to comprehend or help them with the real daily struggles in their lives. Patti also became very frustrated with their inability to grasp what she was teaching. She was confused and saddened that she could not help them walk with more confidence and discipline in their personal lives. Soon the women grew jealous and resentful, and Patti resigned as teacher. She maintained one intimate friendship with one younger girl who had begun to visit the class and who responded eagerly to her like a little sister.

MARCIA'S MOM

Marcia's origins couldn't have been any more different than Patti's. The night that Marcia was conceived, out of wedlock, her mother had run away from home at 16 to escape an abusive father. Confused and scared she accepted the offer of comfort and refuge from a young man she met at a diner while she tried to collect her thoughts and plan the rest of her life. That night the boy did console her at first, but as she relaxed in his comfort it quickly turned into a seduction that Marcia's mom was unable to resist.

The next morning, in confusion and despair over her sin, she walked home alone and begged her abusive father to take her back into his home. For several weeks she lived in dread of being pregnant, and was terrified at the thought of having to confess her sin to her father. Once she knew for sure that she was pregnant she prayed daily for several more weeks that God would allow her to miscarry so that she would not have to suffer that shame.

Finally, when she could hide the pregnancy no longer, she told her father. He reacted violently and forced her out of the house, cursing her for being no better than a prostitute, and just like her mother, who had run off with a lover a few years earlier.

The boy who had gotten her pregnant was no where to be found, so with no where else to turn, Marcia's mom quickly decided to marry a boy in town who had always idolized her but for whom she felt nothing but disgust and pity. A few months later Marcia was born to a very unhappy woman burdened with terrible guilt for her sin, feeling forsaken by God, and trapped in a marriage that dragged her into further misery and humiliation.

Marcia's Dad never held a job for more than six months, and he never earned his wife's respect or love. But, because of her guilt, Marcia's mom stayed with him in spite of the emptiness of their marriage. The rest of Marcia's childhood and adolescence was as disappointing and sad, as Patti's was wonderful. Life at home was marked by arguing and violence. Like her mom, Marcia became well acquainted with pain, shame, and depression at an early age.

MARCIA - THE CHILD

As a child Marcia was unattractive, always poorly dressed at school, often teased or shunned by her classmates, and a poor student in every way. Marcia learned to read at only a third grade level, and yet she was never held back in any grade. Before she had even entered high school, three different teachers had tried to molest her. Two of them had been reading teachers - this would be a crucial fact in Marcia's process of transformation.

During her sophomore year of high school, Marcia was seduced by a boy who got her pregnant but later denied it and refused to have anything to do with her. She hoped for a miscarriage just as her mom had with her, but unlike her mom she decided to have an abortion. Then in her senior year it happened again. This time, like her mom, she dropped out of school and soon married a boy, who wanted to care for her, but for whom she felt no love.

She married him because she needed a father for her daughter soon to be born. Sadly, and yet predictably, her husband became an abusive alcoholic, and provided poorly for Marcia and the three children that came in fairly rapid succession.

In Marcia's late twenties she visited a church one day desperately looking for some kind of strength. On her first visit, like Patti, she prayed to receive Christ after the sermon. She walked the church isle that day an exhausted and obese mother of three, who was still deeply ashamed of almost every aspect of her life. At the altar she prayed with a group of people who had likewise responded to an invitation to "receive Jesus into your heart."

Marcia was then ushered to a side room, where each person was given a registration card to fill out. As she ashamedly and yet solemnly pondered what to write under "Prayer Requests" the room gradually emptied out. One deacon interrupted her writing of prayer requests for her children only long enough to tell her where to leave her card and to tell her to be sure to read her Bible every day. He asked and offered nothing else, and then left her alone.

Within a year Marcia's husband had become enraged at her persistent pleading that he go with her and the children to church. He constantly ridiculed her efforts to read a children's Bible, and greatly humiliated Marcia in front of her children who were trying to help her read it.

Finally, it a fit of rage one Sunday morning, he struck Marcia several times, and put her in the hospital broken ribs and other severe bruises. Let him who has ears to hear, hear!

Can you see the difference between these two lives?

Can you imagine how different their lives have been in ways I haven't even described?

Can you see the difference starting right from conception?

Can you see how differently they were treated even by the Body of Christ 28 years

later or were you only struck by the cruelty of yet another abusive man to his wife?

Can you imagine how different their experience of Christianity (or church) has

been over the last ten years?

If you feel just a little bit of hurt and grief for Marcia, perhaps it's because you have recognized and understood how the Law of Sowing and Reaping dramatically affected these two lives - one for good and the other for bad. From what these two women had sowed into them from conception all the way to when and how they were received by the church, where they both made their profession of faith on the same day, Patti and Marcia are a witness to the FACT of the Law of Sowing and Reaping. But here it's not about giving generously in order to recieve abundantly from God.

Are all women truly created equal at birth?

Are they suddenly equal when they are "born again?"

Is the "good news" of the gospel that Patti and Marcia could both start equally new and joyful lives from the moment they accepted Christ?

How? How does a woman like Marcia get at the new life of Christ that is birthed within her by the Holy Spirit?

What is Your Gospel for Marcia?

What is your gospel for the Marcia's of the world?

What gospel did she hear? Did anyone find out?

Did anyone discover how important it was for her to be "BORN again" in love and legitimacy in contrast to how she was conceived and born in the flesh?

Where was the loving saint who could lead her to the Cross in prayer so that her "old life" of suffering and shame could be swallowed up in Christ's death in order that her "new life" in Christ could be released from within?

Who was going to help Marcia "break up the fallow ground of her heart," so that the seed of the Word could take deeper root?

Whose job is it to help Marcia throw out the old wineskin so that she could drink deeply from the new wine of Christ's life and find daughterhood with a loving and protective Father?

Too many Christians and hence too much of the church is ignorant of the FACT that unless Marcia really grasps and appropriates that she is crucified with Christ, she will continue to reap corruption because of countless things that have been sowed into her throughout her life apart from Christ.

A GOSPEL EVEN FOR PATTI!

For that matter, what is your gospel for the Patti's of the world? No doubt you've seen that her life was already much better than yours. Of course you can offer her Heaven through Jesus Christ. But what about the rest of her life here? Did Patti really begin a new life? How would she do that? Did Patti really have an encounter with the Cross of Christ to set her free from her old life? What would it look like if she had?

When I heard Patti's story I was reminded of Saul of Tarsus, "blameless under the law" and far surpassing many peers his own age as a Pharisee. That was before he became the apostle Paul, who counted all of his prior life "lost for the surpassing knowledge of Christ," discovered himself to be a "wretched man" prone to do evil rather than good, and later declared himself to be indisputably the "chiefest of sinners."

Could Patti become like Paul, who "resolved to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified" even after he was so dramatically saved. Like Paul who "carried about in his body the dying of the Lord Jesus," and "died daily that others might have life." Who died daily to be the "light to the gentiles" that he was raised to despise with every fiber of his earthly nature?

Only if Patti embraced the Cross as every disciple is called to do, "boasts only in the Cross," as Paul did, and is "crucified with Christ" as Paul said he was, will Patti truly become the new creation that God desires her to be. Otherwise she will walk in the power of a "good life" rather than in the power of a "transformed life."

After praying with so many broken people like Marcia, and so many confident people like Patti, I am glad for the hope of the Gospel, "Christ formed in us," but grieved each time I see evidence of the anemic gospel that puts the Cross at the starting point of a believer's walk in Christ, but fails to teach people the ongoing place and purpose of the Cross in their daily lives after they first "get saved," therefore depriving them of its power. To me this seems to be robbery of the highest order, which our adversary the devil promotes and rejoices in.

Jesus has given us the Word, and the gifts, but greatest of all, He has given us Himself, crucified and resurrected. The Bible tells us that we are not only forgiven and cleansed by His Blood, but that we are also crucified with Christ, and that our new life is His life within us. Through the Cross we find death to our old man, and then we experience new life in His resurrection.

Resurrection happens where there has been a death of the old through Christ's Cross. Without such a death there is not the resurrection life we so desperately need in this hour to free us from our old life and its reaping, and to release the life of Christ from within to minister to those around us. Paul said it in 2 Cor 4:10, "We the apostles always carry about in our bodies the dying of the Lord Jesus so that His life may be formed in our mortal bodies, so therefore death is at work in us so that life can be at work in you."