Having An Unwanted Child
(David and Janet)

David & Janet came to a home bible study that I was invited to speak at. Their 8-year old son absolutely hated her, and seemed to reject her even right after he was born. As a child he constantly ignored her and pulled away from her at every opportunity. He'd even humiliate her if she tried to control him in public at all.

I discovered that Janet had not really been all that crazy about David when they met at their first job, but that she had gone out with him a couple of times. One time she had a little more to drink than ever before and they ended up in bed together. A month later she had missed her period and was not happy about that at all. She was very career-minded and hoped that this was just a false alarm. The last thing she needed was a baby, and she had no desire to marry David.

She was indeed pregnant, and she began to try to force and early miscarriage by jumping down several stairs, tumbling on the ground and going for rides on a bicycle down a very bumpy road. Nothing worked so she finally told David about her pregnancy. He was happy about it and very willing to marry Janet, but she went along with it very reluctantly.

Then they both found out that their employer did not allow spouses to work in the same division of the company. Janet was asked to leave a job she had really worked hard to get and that could have led her down the career path she had desired for several years. She was angry at herself, angry at David, angry at the company policy and angry at the baby in her womb.

At times she despised David and the child growing in her as she tried to conceive of life without a career and with a husband she really did not choose, and a baby she really did not want.

When the baby boy came he was beautiful and something changed in Janet's heart. she was going to love this child and use all of her intelligence and talent to make sure that he was a very loved and well trained boy. She may have changed, but the baby in the womb had been saturated in a very different attitude for almost nine months. He didn't feel wanted, and he obviously didn't want her either.

He resisted breastfeeding, cried whenever Janet picked him up, and then joyfully received any and all care and attention that his father gave him. He also went to any other female very easily and even seemed to do it to spite his mother even as an infant.

I prayed with David and Janet to confess how they conceived their son, and how Janet had carried him in such fear, resentment, anger and even murder. We prayed that God would crucify the woman who had been so sure of how her life was going to go that she was willing to miscarry a child in order to protect her aspirations. We crucified the woman who told the baby in her womb that she didn't love him or his father.

The very next morning the young boy ran downstairs and asked dad where his mother was. He just had to see her and tell her something. Dad said tell me, and the boy said no I have to tell mom. Into the bathroom the boy ran. She was showering while he told her of a dream in which he could not find her anywhere no matter how hard he looked. The dream had terrified him so much that he just had to be sure he could still see his mom. Scripture says it is a foolish son who despises or drives out his mother, and that a son who curses mother or father while have his lamp snuffed out in pitch darkness. Janet peeked her head out around the shower curtain with tears streaming down her face. Her son said "everything's going to be Okay now," and then asked if she would drive him to school instead of Dad or the neighbor's mom doing it. A few weeks later Janet called me and asked me if I could pray and reverse some of what we had prayed because her son was following her everywhere. I told her that she just needed to let him drink in as much of her presence as he needed for a while. We prayed a while later and she and her son's relationship came back into balance. David and Janet love each other and their kids deeply, and have shared this story with dozens of people, especially women who have struggles with difficult children.